Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs
by letmebleedinpeace
Summary: James and Lily are just beginning at Hogwarts. They've been promised fun and learning, but much more will come. Fair warning, this is going to be long.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** Characters and canon content belong to the great JK Rowling, but hey, all the stuff in-between came straight from my head!

 **EDIT:** I'm saving Professor Horne for a time when I can work more with him, so just the DADA professor and the description changed.

James

"James! James." He woke to his mother gently shaking him, and his face broke into a wide smile that stayed firmly there for the entire five minutes it took him to get dressed, take his trunk (already packed for two weeks) and owl to the door, and walk into the breakfast room of the main Potter mansion. It was not yet 10:40, when his parents would take him to King's Cross station by side-along apparition to board the Hogwarts Express for the very first time. In fact, it was not even ten o'clock, or even nine. It was 8:30 in the morning, and the family house elves had prepared an excellent breakfast: pancakes and waffles, sausage and bacon, scrambled eggs. If eleven year old James Potter had not been so excited (and, if he was being honest with himself, rather nervous), he would have eaten everything on the table. But he still managed third helpings of everything.

When James entered the breakfast room, his father looked up from this morning's Daily Prophet, and smiled back at James. "Are you excited? Nervous?" He asked, knowing the answer already, owing to that James had been practically floating through the past two and a half weeks, since his Hogwarts letter had come, but James nodded anyway. James' father was Head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, though he didn't need to work for his money: the Potter's were an old, Pureblood wizarding family, and therefore had a good-sized fortune stored away in Gringotts wizarding bank. But Charlus Potter was not a man to let his life slide by without taking as much control of it as possible. Dorea Potter (once Black), did not work, but instead devoted her life to charity work (which did, admittedly, lessen the fortune the family owned, but not nearly enough to force her to take a job). Dorea had grown up surrounded by the Black family, an amazingly prejudiced and bigoted family. She had never understood the terrible way they treated and talked about Muggles and Muggleborns, and therefore focused the full brunt of her charity work on assuring that Muggles would not be terrorized by wizards, and Muggleborns treated like equals. This also assured that her name was blasted from the Black family tree. It was, in her opinion, a miracle that her name had not been blasted off earlier, and owed it all to the fact that she fell in love with a Potter, though she had been determined to make a match her parents would be extremely disappointed in.

James bounded around the house until at last 10:40 arrived, and James gripped his mother's hand hard and his father gripped his trunk and owl. They disappeared from the entrance hall, and reappeared moments later in a deserted alley across the street from King's Cross station. They crossed the street, loaded James' things on a trolley, and walked into the station, then to the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and then ran straight at it. When James opened his eyes, he saw a sign reading 'Platform 9 3/4' and a bright red steam engine. Mr. Potter helped James load his trunk into a compartment, and then dragged James (who wanted to just stay on the train, as if his presence would get it moving any sooner than it's eleven o'clock departure time) back outside to say goodbye to Mrs. Potter.

It seemed to James as though saying goodbye took hours, but merely seconds to his parents. They made him promise to write ("We didn't buy you an owl for nothing!"), and finally he was back on the train. He found the compartment his trunk had been in, but found it no longer empty upon his arrival: a slimy looking boy with black hair and sallow skin, and a pretty redhead girl were sitting there, discussing the Hogwarts houses, and a few moments later another boy entered, also black haired, but this one was familiar.

Before Dorea Potter had been disowned, James had met a few of his relatives from the Black family, and this must have been one of them. He looked like a Black (though perhaps more cheerful and exciting). He sat down next to James, who was listening more to the conversation of Slimy and Redhead, and heard Slimy say he wanted to be in Slytherin.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin?" James says.

"Where're you heading, if you've got the choice?" Probably a Black asks.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad… Got a problem with that?"

"No, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy," Slimy Slytherin says.

James could've sworn Redhead mumbled something, but he wasn't about to ask what, seeing as she saw fit to befriend this disgusting boy. Instead he directs his attention to Probably a Black. "What about you? Where are you going?"

"Well, my whole family's been in Slytherin," Probably a Black becomes Almost Certainly a Black, but he then continues: "But maybe I'll break the mold."

James gives him an appraising look: Almost Certainly a Black apparently doesn't want to be like his terrible family members. Perhaps they could be friends (if he doesn't end up in Slytherin, that is). He holds out his hand, and says, "James Potter."

Almost Certainly a Black smirks, "I thought so. Sirius Black." There it is. They had met before, and if he was remembering correctly, Sirius liked to pull pranks almost more than he did.

"And what about you, Red?" James asks, finally drawing her into the conversation. "What house will you be in?"

"It's Lily. I suppose I don't know. My parents are both muggles, so I don't have any… Family obligations. From what I've heard they all have some admirable traits and some detrimental. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out." James is hit hard. First, she reveals she's muggle born, then that she doesn't have any clue where she would _want_ to go, then she used the word 'detrimental' properly in a sentence. Is she eleven, or forty-five?

"You're muggle born, and you willingly made friends with someone who _wants_ to be in Slytherin?" he asks. She must be mental.

She looks hurt. "Severus is the one who told me I was a witch. He's never been anything but lovely to me, telling me all about the magical world, so I didn't have to come here completely clueless about everything."

James is skeptical. He worries if Snivellus told her the truth about everything- including Voldemort and blood status prejudice. Lily must see this on his face, because she sniffs and says, "C'mon Sev, lets go find another compartment."

"Bye, Red! _Snivellus_." She sniffs again, and slams the compartment door behind her.

Sirius is chuckling. "Snivellus. I like that," he says. Mellowing, he goes on: "Y'know, I never understood why Auntie Dorea got disowned. She was always so nice. But now that I'm older, I guess I realize that's probably why."

"Yeah, that's the general idea. She and some other less prejudiced Pureblood family members formed this activist group 'Muggle and Muggleborn Protection: We Are Equal.' MMP does a lot to protect Muggles and Muggleborns against all the crazy people like your family (no offense) who think they're all superior so they can walk all over those of 'lesser blood status.'" James explains.

"I don't get what's so bad about Muggles and Muggleborns," Sirius frowns.

"That's just it. There's nothing wrong with them or anything, and a lot of really powerful witches and wizards are muggleborn anyway." Sirius seems to be considering something.

"I don't want to be in Slytherin. If Slytherin turned out my family, and my family is part of the problem, thinking muggleborns are scum, then I don't want to be in Slytherin."

James starts grinning. "Good. From what I remember of you, I want you as my friend. And we can't be friends if you're in Slytherin."

Just then, a sickly looking mousy-haired boy slid open the compartment door. "Do you think I could sit here?" the boy asks.

"That bench is all yours," James points at the seats across from him and Sirius.

"Yeah," Sirius adds. "You look like you could use some good sleep. Why don't you take a nap. We'll wake you up when we get there."

The boy was already in his Hogwarts uniform, and looked relieved when they said they'd help him out. "Thanks. Remus Lupin," he thrust his hand out to James and Sirius, who took it and introduced themselves in turn. He fell asleep almost immediately. James and Sirius talked for a while and bought some snacks from the trolley lady when she came by.

"Do you think we should wake him?" James asked.

"No, he looked like he hadn't slept in days, let him sleep while he can," Sirius says, looking at Remus kindly. "If he's hungry when he wakes up, we can just give him some of ours. We bought more than enough."

When Remus finally woke up, it was from hunger. It was beginning to get dark, and they'd be there soon, but nonetheless, James and Sirius offered him a cauldron cake, and a few chocolate frogs. On top of looking like he hadn't slept in days, they noticed that it looked as though he hadn't eaten in days either. He looked gratefully at both of the boys who'd been so kind to him, and accepted the food, eating as civilly as he could, when he was as hungry as he was. Remus was quiet, and mostly just listened to James and Sirius as they talked, laughing at all of their jokes. At least he had a sense of humor.

The Hogwarts Express slowed to a stop, and they all left their things on board, as instructed, and made their way onto the platform. An enormous man was calling "Firs' years! Firs' years this way!" So James, Sirius, and Remus made their way towards him. James recalls something his father told him about the gamekeeper, and assumes this must be him. He was called Hagrid, if memory served. James caught sight of Lily again, and by the looks of it, Sirius notices her too. Now that he knows why Dorea Potter was burned off the Black family tree, he looks just as concerned for her as James is.

Hagrid, for that was his name indeed, leads James and the rest of the first years to the shore of a great lake, where a fleet of little rowboats is waiting. "Four to a boat!" Hagrid yells. James and Sirius pull Remus along, following a bobbing head of fiery hair. They all hop into a boat just after her, James and Sirius looking determined, Remus looking confused. Lily looks uncomfortable _and_ confused. She turns and frowns apologetically at a scowling Severus, who turns to find another boat.

The boats start to move on their own, and the kids in the boats are talking quietly to each other. James turns to Lily, who is sitting next to him on the front bench of the boat. "Lily, what has Snivellus told you about Voldemort and his followers?" James figures he should probably just get right down to it.

"First of all, it's Severus Snape. Don't call him Snivellus. Second, he's a bad wizard, so bad that people are actually afraid to say his name. Which is ridiculous of course. But he wouldn't tell me what he did. Said I didn't need to worry about it. Why?"

"You of all people need to worry about it. Voldemort and most of his followers were in Slytherin, just like your pal wants to be. And Voldemort is a Pureblood supremacist. He and his followers think muggles are worth less than wizards, and that muggleborns shouldn't be part of the wizarding world, that they shouldn't even be accepted at Hogwarts." It felt harsh to James, telling her all this, that she should find out from strangers instead of her friend, but she had to know. She would be affected by all of the Death Eater wannabes at Hogwarts, and when she got out, she would be a target for the actual Death Eaters if they weren't caught by then. She needed to know.

It was dark, but James could still see that Lily was thinking hard. Whether to believe him, whether to defend her friend, whether to push him over the side of the boat. Very tight-lipped, she finally responded, "Thank you for telling me, Potter."

He nodded grimly, and the four in the boat said nothing as the fleet approached, and reached, the castle. A stuffy looking woman opened the doors when Hagrid knocked, who introduced herself as Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor House. She led the first years through the entrance hall and into a room off the Great Hall, and told them that she would lead them through the doors of the Great Hall (where they would eat all of their meals), and they would be sorted into their houses. The houses compete for the most points throughout the school year, and the winner is announced at the end of the year. She leaves them in the room to wait, while she waits for the signal from Professor Dumbledore, the Headmaster. James glances around, and sees Lily confronting Snivellus about what he told her in the boat. Snivellus looks uncomfortable, and James smirks to himself. Lily looks angry, but not nearly enough to get rid of that slimy git.

Professor McGonagall comes back and leads them into the Great Hall. Several of the students gasp at the ceiling, which James knew from his family to be bewitched to look like the sky outside. It's cloudy, but there's still a peek of stars and a waning moon. They reach the front of the Hall, and line up in front of the teachers, facing the students. McGonagall sets down a stool with a ratty old hat on it, and the Sorting Hat began its song. Something about working together, and what being in each of the different houses means, but James isn't really listening; for the first time in the past few weeks, nervousness replaces excitement as his primary emotion. The hat finishes its song, and everyone applauds. Then McGonagall unrolls a scroll, and begins reading names. James is able to focus when he hears "Black, Sirius!" He's nervous for his new friend. The Sorting Hat took some time before yelling "Gryffindor!"

James is relieved for his friend, and Sirius turns around and gives James a brief, ecstatic smile. James notices that most of the Slytherin table isn't clapping, and some of its members look downright mad. A Black being sorted into Gryffindor is unheard of, after all.

"Evans, Lily!" is called, and James looks up to see the redhead walk as calmly as she can up to the stool. It rests on her head for a few seconds, but quickly screams "Gryffindor!" James is relieved. He can't help but feel like he needs to protect this girl, and he can't really tell if it's because of that Snape creep, or just because of her. She seems capable enough of taking care of herself, but he can't help but worry.

The next person he recognizes is "Lupin, Remus!" He's looking a little bit better, now that he's had some rest and some food. The hat rests on his head for almost six minutes, before yelling "Gryffindor!" James is pleased, he thinks Remus has something to offer, and his mother always said he was a good judge of character.

Finally, his name is called, and James walks what he hopes is a confident walk forward, sits on the stool, and places the hat on his head. "Hm!" the hat says in his mind, and then shouts "Gryffindor!" to the rest of the school. James grins, hands the hat back to Professor McGonagall, and walks, still grinning hard to a seat next to Lily, and across from Remus, who sits with a pudgy blond boy on his right, and on his left are blond girl who looks like a McKinnon, and a brunette who looks like a MacDonald.

When "Snape, Severus!" is called, the Sorting Hat immediately pronounces him a Slytherin, and he looks over at Lily before walking calmly, head held high, to a seat at the Slytherin table. James turns away, nose turned up. One more girl joins the Gryffindor table, and a few more people are sorted before McGonagall picks up the hat on the stool and carries it away.

Professor Dumbledore stands, and says, "I fear you are all too hungry to be able to pay any attention to anything I have to say, so I'll just say this: Enjoy!" Food appears on all the tables, and James and the other first year Gryffindors look around and begin to grab all of their favorite foods. There's steak, roast chicken, shepherd's pie, steak and kidney pudding, mashed potatoes and gravy, noodle casseroles, and every kind of steamed, fresh, or roasted vegetable you could want, but James only touched enough of those to make his mother proud that he ate vegetables without being told to. After everyone had had their fill of the main course, the remains vanished from every plate, to be replaced with the puddings. There was some delicious looking treacle tart, and quite a few others, but James could only manage two helpings of the treacle tart.

When the puddings were cleared, Dumbledore stood again. "Now, before your brains have become too befuddled with the sleepiness that inevitably follows a good meal," he begins, "there are a few announcements to make. The Black Forest is off limits to all students. Just before term, a new tree was planted on the grounds. I must advise you to stay away from the Whomping Willow: it's quite rare, and packs quite a punch. We welcome Professor Kipling to the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts." There is some polite clapping for the new professor. He's middle-aged, with graying brown hair, and bright eyes. "Classes begin tomorrow morning, and your schedules will be passed out at seven a.m. breakfast. Now, off to bed with you all."

A boy and a girl come running over to where the first years are sitting. "Hi!" the girl smiles. "I'm Shelby Hopkins, seventh year prefect for Gryffindor, and this is Howard Crofton, he's a sixth year prefect."

The boy nods, and announces "We'll take you up to Gryffindor Tower, and be happy to answer any questions you might have on the way, or you can feel free to come up to us or any other prefect at any time."

"Before curfew, that is," Shelby interjects.

The prefects lead the first years up many flights of stairs, pushing aside two tapestries to get through to the doors hidden behind them, and as tired and worn out as the new students were, they were still wide eyed, staring at all of the different pictures and portraits, and gasping a little at the staircases that moved.

Finally, they arrived at a large portrait of a fat woman in a pink dress. Howard gave the password (Elderberries), and the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open to reveal a hole. They all clambered through (the short blond boy who had introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew at dinner needed a leg up), and entered the Gryffindor common room. It was a cozy sort of place; lots of squashy armchairs, couches, and a few tables with hard chairs for homework. A fire was crackling in the hearth, and if James hadn't wanted to get straight to bed, he would've sat in front of the fire until it died down. Shelby led the girls up to their dormitory, and as Howard led the way to theirs, he informed them that the girls' staircase wouldn't let boys up it, so don't try. James may have been imagining the challenge in his voice.

A plaque reading "First Years" was on the third floor of the boys' tower, and they all found their trunks placed by magnificent four poster beds. The boys all changed into their pajamas, but they found that now they were in a place where they could sleep, they didn't want to. They all sat in a circle on the floor. James and Sirius, both being rather loud and outspoken did most of the talking. Remus, who had had some experience with the two of them held his own relatively well. Peter seemed to be the shyest and least clever of the boys. The fifth had introduced himself as Brendan Grant at dinner, and seemed as though he was extremely nervous.

The topic had come around to blood status, as it typically did in these times. "James and I are both Purebloods." Sirius admitted.

"I'm half-blood. My dad's a wizard." Remus intones.

"My mum's the witch." Peter chimes in.

"My parents are both muggles." Brendan looks somewhat worried as he makes this announcement, but the boys don't respond negatively to this announcement, so he relaxes. He supposed not all wizards could be prejudiced, but he'd overheard the Evans girl talking to that Slytherin boy in the chamber off the Great Hall, so he was a little worried.

They talked for a long while about the courses and what they might expect. It turned out that Brendan had worried about being behind, coming from a family with no magical heritage, and had done quite a bit of studying the textbooks they were assigned, trying some of the spells, but he seemed to be an average student, though willing to work hard and go the extra mile. Perhaps he belonged in Hufflepuff, James thought.

It was around ten thirty when they all clambered into their beds, and despite refusing to admit they were tired, they all fell asleep within minutes.

Lily

Eleven year old Lily Evans woke suddenly at five forty-five in the morning. She keeps her eyes closed, listening hard to find out what pulled her from sleep. Then she hears it. Her sister, Petunia, is crying in the room next to Lily's. Lily sighs, opens her eyes, and remembers why Petunia is crying. Today is the day Lily leaves for Hogwarts. But that isn't specifically _why_ Petunia is crying. When Lily was nine, she and Petunia were playing on the swings at the local park, and Lily would always let go when she was too high, but she'd never fall. She gently floated down off the swings, landing on the ground. Petunia would yell at her, saying she shouldn't do something so reckless, but then a boy came out of the shadows. He told her she was a witch, and Petunia said that was ridiculous: witches aren't real. But over the past few years, Lily would continually use magic to fly from the swings, to make flowers bloom for her, she'd even made her sister's closet door fly off, so she could find her Christmas present. And every day, she would meet Severus Snape, the boy who told her she was a witch, and he would tell her about the wizarding world. A few weeks previously, she had received a letter delivered by an owl. Written on heavy parchment in green ink, it read:

 _Dear Miss Evans,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of necessary books and equipment._

 _Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Minerva McGonagall_

 _Deputy Headmistress_

She'd run excitedly to her parents and Petunia to show them her letter. Lily couldn't read the look on Petunia's face.

A week later, the Evans family went with Severus and his mother to Diagon Alley, where Eileen Snape showed them around the bustling street, and they bought all their school supplies together. When they left Diagon Alley, her parents handed Mrs. Snape a letter for her to send with Severus', saying she would be attending Hogwarts. Petunia had not come along on this trip.

The next day, Severus had come over to her house, and they decided to have a look around Petunia's room, because it was raining. They had found a letter from the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. It revealed that Petunia had written to Dumbledore, asking to attend Hogwarts with Lily, but Dumbledore had politely refused: Petunia did not have any magical ability, and therefore was not able to be accepted. But Petunia had caught them when they were reading this, and she threw them out of her room, too furious to speak.

Now that Lily was awake, there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. She may have been sad that Petunia now seemed to hate her, but she was still amazingly excited about her new prospects, and it's hard to sleep when you're very, very excited.

She dressed slowly and quietly, so Petunia wouldn't know she was awake, and went downstairs to find her father making poached eggs, just the way she liked them, and her mother making pancakes. They beamed at her when she bounded into the room.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans had been high school sweethearts. Malcolm Evans was, in his wife's opinion, a lovely gentleman with no ambition whatsoever. He worked in the same general store he had in high school, but now instead of a clerk or stock boy, he was the manager of the store, and the most senior member of the staff, directly under the owner. Lisa Evans was the real breadwinner of the family. She had gotten a degree in business from a local college, and was paid very well to help with public relations and advertising for a local company that was, thanks in no small part to her, now an international company. Rumor has it that she'll be getting a promotion in the next few weeks: they want her to use her business expertise to help run the company in full.

"Are you excited sweetie?" Mr. Evans asked. He was more paternal than Mrs. Evans was maternal. Everyone in the house already knew the answer. She'd been cheerful and she sang much more than usual in the past two weeks. Severus had been right. She was a witch, there was a school called Hogwarts that she would be going to, and after she graduated, she would live in the wizarding world. Lily sat down at the scrubbed kitchen table and poured herself some orange juice. She didn't feel it was necessary to respond to her father, and she didn't altogether trust her voice at the moment. Petunia came in half an hour later, her face dry and free from puffiness or redness. She was more polite and quieter than usual, and she ate only a single egg.

After breakfast, Lily went back to her room to make sure she had everything she needed properly packed. Petunia cornered her before she could get there.

"Tuney…" Lily pleaded.

"It's Petunia," Petunia started, coldly. "And you're a freak."

"I'm not a freak!" Lily stammered. "That's a horrible thing to say."

"That's where you're going." Petunia jeered. "A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy; weirdos. That's what you two are." She turned on her heel and stormed to her room.

Lily couldn't help it. She burst out crying, and slammed the door to her room. She pulled herself together quickly. "If I'm a freak," she reasoned, aloud though to herself, "then a freak is what Tuney _wants_ to be."

She looked around her room, and picked up the book she'd been reading last night before falling asleep: _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 1_. She'd read parts of all of her school books. Her favorite was the potions text: it seemed the most logical of the subjects she'd be taking, it was all about following instructions, and knowing about the magical properties of ingredients. Plus, Severus' mother was a potions prodigy, and Severus had told her about some of the potions his mother was able to make before his father started abusing her. They avoided that topic, it was too emotional for Severus.

Other than the book, her trunk was packed and very orderly. To her eye, at least. She could find everything in that trunk, but anyone else would probably have to dump everything out. Controlled chaos is the word Lily liked to use. Messy was her mother and Petunia's word for the way she kept her room and trunk. They were both neat-freaks. But her father was the same way.

"Are you ready Lily?" Mr. Evans calls through the door. "We have to leave now so we can make it there in time!"

Lily opens her door, and smiles up at her father. He grins back, but there are tears in his eyes: he won't see her until Christmas, and any parent wants to be close to their child at all times. Lily nods, and they carry her trunk downstairs, out the door, and into the car together. Mrs. Evans and Petunia are waiting in the car, and they set out.

Petunia is silent throughout the four hours in the car, and as they walk through Kings Cross Station. Suppressing the surprise they all feel at having to walk through an apparently solid wall to reach Platform 9 3/4 and the Hogwarts Express, Petunia looks coldly about at all of the 'freaks.' The train will be leaving in ten minutes. Lily and her father pull her trunk onto the train and into a compartment where she finds Severus and his trunk. There's another trunk in the overhead compartment, but no one else is there. She says hello to Severus, then steps off the train to say goodbye to her family. Petunia barely says goodbye, and only really under the demand of the girls' mother. Lily hugs her parents each in turn, promising to write to them, and that she'll see them at Christmas. Then she boards the train, and sits down next to Severus.

"Are you ready?" Severus grins.

"I don't know. Tuney's mad at me, but I can't do anything about it unless I want to leave this all behind," Lily sighs.

"She'll come around, Lily," Severus comforts. "She's your sister, she has to. Just stop thinking about it."

The boy whose trunk is in the compartment comes in. He has unruly black hair and glasses. Another black haired boy comes in a few moments later.

"What d'you think Lily?" Severus asks, getting off the subject of her sister. He knows it will only upset her more. "Do you know what house you'll be in yet?"

"Well I suppose I'd like to be in the same house as you. You're my best friend, after all."

"Well I want to be in Slytherin." Severus says.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin?" The boy with the messy hair and glasses pipes up.

"Where're you heading, if you've got the choice?" The other boy asks.

"'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad… Got a problem with that?"

"No, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy," Severus scoffs.

"You don't have to be brawny to be brave," Lily mumbles, but no one seems to have heard her, or cared what she said if they did.

"What about you? Where are you going?" the messy haired boy asks the other new boy.

"Well, my whole family's been in Slytherin. But maybe I'll break the mold," he says.

The messy-haired boy gives him an appraising look, and holds out his hand, saying "James Potter."

The other boy smirks, "I thought so. Sirius Black."

"And what about you, Red?" Potter asks, meaning Lily. "What house will you be in?"

"It's Lily. I suppose I don't know. My parents are both muggles, so I don't have any…" she pauses, this seems to be important, based on the boys' conversation. "Family obligations. From what I've heard they all have some admirable traits and some detrimental. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out." Potter looks like he's sizing her up.

"You're muggle born," he starts, "and you willingly made friends with someone who _wants_ to be in Slytherin?"

 _How rude!_ Lily thinks. "Severus is the one who told me I was a witch. He's never been anything but lovely to me, telling me all about the magical world, so I didn't have to come here completely clueless about everything."

Potter looks like he doesn't trust whatever it was Severus had told Lily, so she sniffs and says, "C'mon Sev, lets go find another compartment."

"Bye, Red! _Snivellus_." Lily sniffs again, and slams the compartment door behind her.

Lily turns to Severus and rolls her eyes. "Snivellus, really. Must've taken him the whole morning to come up with that one."

Severus chuckles. "Oh, but what about _Red_? Stroke of genius, that one."

Lily and Severus laugh as they walk down the corridor. Not too far away, they find another compartment with some first year girls in it, and a pudgy little blond boy.

Lily slides the door open. "Hi, do you mind if we join you?" They all smile, and a brown haired girl nods. Lily leads Severus into the compartment, and they sit next to each other across from the girls and next to the boy.

"I'm Lily Evans, and this is Severus Snape," Lily starts. The brunette looks a bit like she'd like to say something against Severus; she seems rather invested in her appearance, and Severus' hair is truly appallingly greasy, but Lily knows it's just difficult to get it clean. All the same, the brunette introduces herself as Mary MacDonald, the blond boy introduces himself as Peter Pettigrew, and the other girl, who is blond and looks like a bit of a tomboy introduces herself as Marlene McKinnon.

They talk idly about classes, mostly, or are quiet. Marlene and Mary talk quite a bit; they've known each other for years, apparently.

Lily's mother packed a bit of lunch for herself and Severus, but when the trolley comes around she buys some sweets from the kind woman pushing it. She'd never heard of Chocolate Frogs or Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans or anything else there, really, but she must start somewhere, so she shares some Every Flavor Beans with Severus, and after almost losing a Chocolate Frog, she finds a Merlin card inside the package. She isn't startled to see Merlin leave the frame, Severus told her the subjects of magical pictures don't stay put.

It doesn't take long before the train pulls in at the station, and everyone clusters around the doors as the students push out onto the platform. There's an alarmingly large man yelling for the first years to follow him, so Lily, Severus, and their travelling companions make their way towards him. He leads them down to a small fleet of rowboats, and instructs them to climb in, four people in each boat.

Lily finds an empty boat, climbs in, and turns to find that it's not Severus following her in, but Potter, Black, and a kind, though tired and sickly looking boy. Potter and Black look like they were intending to end up in her boat. The other boy looks like he was just tagging along. Lily had already decided she didn't like that James Potter, and what's more, they were blocking her best friend from riding with her to the castle. She spots Severus, scowling at the boys, and frowns in a way she hopes conveys her discomfort, and her apology. Severus climbs into the next boat.

The boats start to move, and the light buzzing coming from the other boats tells her there are lots of voices speaking at once.

Potter turns to her, and she feels even more uncomfortable. "Lily," he must feel like he's got something important to say, if he's using her name. He doesn't want her to get mad at him. "What has Snivellus told you about Voldemort and his followers?"

"First of all, it's Severus Snape. Don't call him Snivellus," he may have tried with Lily, but she supposes he just can't bring himself to extend kindness to someone he so obviously looks down upon. "Second, he's a bad wizard, so bad that people are actually afraid to say his name. Which is ridiculous of course. But he wouldn't tell me what he did. Said I didn't need to worry about it," Severus had told her he didn't have too many followers, and they'd probably catch him, so he wasn't worth worrying about. "Why?"

"You of all people need to worry about it. Voldemort and most of his followers were in Slytherin, just like your pal wants to be. And Voldemort is a Pureblood supremacist. He and his followers think muggles are worth less than wizards, and that muggleborns shouldn't be part of the wizarding world, that they shouldn't even be accepted at Hogwarts."

Lily thought hard about this. Even if the Ministry of Magic was likely to catch Voldemort soon, if he was doing something that could endanger Lily or her parents, or even just keep her out of Hogwarts, isn't it something she should know about? She could be a potential target! Potter seemed like he was telling the truth, but why wouldn't Severus tell her? Finally, she opened her mouth. "Thank you for telling me, Potter."

He nodded, and they said nothing for the rest of the trip to the castle. Lily had some thinking to do.

When the boats arrived at the shore of the lake, they walked to the front doors of the castle, and Hagrid knocked on the door. A beautiful woman wearing emerald robes with a matching hat, her hair in a tight bun, opened the doors.

"I am Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School, and Head of Gryffindor House. Please follow me." No student in their right mind would refuse to do something she asked, but Lily found herself thinking she admired this woman, and would be very pleased with herself if she grew to be half the woman Professor McGonagall was.

She shepherded the students into a room off the Great Hall, and said, "In a few moments, I will lead you into the Great Hall, where you will be sorted into your Houses. There are four Houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. They all have a rich and noble history, and you should be proud to represent any of them. While at school," she continued, "your House will be like your family. You will receive points for good behavior, and lose them for any rule breaking. The House with the most points at the end of the year will win the House Cup Tournament. I need to go and watch for the Headmaster to summon us. Stay here, and I'll return in a moment."

Severus had appeared next to Lily after they disembarked from the boats. Lily took this moment as her chance to tell Severus what Potter had told her on their trip across the lake. "Even if he is _likely_ to be caught," she concluded, "as a muggleborn and therefore a likely target, don't you think I should know, in case he isn't?"

Severus looked uncomfortable under her glare, but she couldn't stay mad at him. He just didn't think she needed to know. She may have been glad to know what Voldemort was doing, and she may have liked for it to be Severus to explain this to her, but he couldn't have been expected to just _know_ that she'd prefer to know this kind of thing.

When Professor McGonagall comes back, Lily begins to get truly nervous for the first time. She leads the first years into the Great Hall, and instructs them to form a line in front of the staff table. In front of them, she places an old, ugly looking wizard's hat. Everyone is staring at it. Lily wonders what it's meant to do. Then its brim opens wide, and it begins to _sing_. Had Lily been less nervous about the sorting, she may have remembered more of the song. It said that Gryffindors were brave, Hufflepuffs were loyal, Ravenclaws were intelligent, and Slytherins were ambitious. Lily didn't feel like any of those things applied to her right now. But soon the song is over, and the sorting began. Lily looked up when she heard Sirius Black's name. It had to deliberate quite a bit before placing him in Gryffindor. She didn't recognize anyone else until her own name was called. Slowly, and as steadily as she can manage, she approaches Professor McGonagall. She rests on the stool, and feels the hat lowered onto her head. In her mind, she hears a voice. "You're a strong one, alright," it whispers. Then it screams to the whole school: "GRYFFINDOR!"

Her? A Gryffindor? Brave? She couldn't believe it. Her legs quaked as she walked to the Gryffindor table. What did Severus think? _We'll work it out,_ she thinks, _we always do_. She takes a seat next to Black, who smiles at her. "Welcome to the cool kids' table, Evans," he says. She bit back a withering retort. She'd be working closely with these people; she could at least try to get along.

"Grant, Brendan" is next to become a Gryffindor, then Mary and Marlene, the girls she'd met on the train come and sit on the other side of the table. The other boy who had sat with her, Black, and James on the boat, who she now knew to be "Lupin, Remus" joined them. Then Peter Pettigrew stumbled his way to the table, and then Potter takes the seat on her other side. She reminds herself to be nice. He warned her about Voldemort, and he will be her housemate for the next seven years. She'll have to get used to him.

Lily waits anxiously for Severus to be called. When he is, the Sorting Hat immediately yells "SLYTHERIN!" He looks over and gives Lily a small, sad smile, before walking to the Slytherin table. _It's what he wanted, after all_ , Lily thinks. "Talbot, Leanna," comes and sits on Potter's other side, and the sorting is shortly over.

Professor Dumbledore stood, and Lily leaned forward, all too ready to hear what the man they called a crazy genius had to say. But when he speaks, he simply says, "I fear you are all too hungry to be able to pay any attention to anything I have to say, so I'll just say this: Enjoy!" At this, the golden plates all around the table fill with food. Lily takes a bit of everything; it all looks so good. When Lily couldn't possibly eat any more, the food disappeared, only to be replaced seconds later with the puddings. She may have thought she couldn't take another bite, but there was a lovely lemon pie that was just the right ratio of sour to sweet. Impossible for Lily to pass up.

Now, it was time for Dumbledore's words. He told them all that the Forest was off limits, there was a new tree called the "Whomping Willow" that they should avoid going near on the grounds, there was a new Professor, Professor Kipling, who would teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, and that their classes would begin after breakfast the following morning.

Now that they were dismissed to bed, a boy and a girl came over to the first years. They both had badges with "P" on them. This was explained quickly, as the girl introduced herself as Shelby Hopkins, and her colleague as Howard Crofton, and that they were both prefects of the seventh and sixth years, respectively. The two prefects guided them up to Gryffindor Tower, up moving staircases, through doors hidden by tapestries. The castle was beautiful, and it had so many paintings, in which all of the subjects were moving, of course.

Once they reached the end of a corridor on the seventh floor, a large woman in a pink dress in one of the paintings asked for the password. The prefects introduced her as "The Fat Lady," which Lily thought was rather rude, but as the woman said nothing of it, she supposed it was proper. They gave her the password, and the portrait swung open. Through the hole, they found a large, cozy room. The fire was popping and snapping merrily, and the chairs and couches all looked as though you'd sink right into them once you sat in them. Shelby, a sweet girl with curly black hair, led them up the girls' tower, saying that the staircase was charmed so it didn't let boys up. They reached the third floor of the tower to find a plaque reading "First Years," and inside found five beautiful four-poster beds, with all of their trunks already at their beds.

Lily could have fallen into bed right then, but as the girls changed into their pajamas, they began talking, and therefore continued talking instead of going to sleep. As Lily, Marlene, and Mary had met on the train, they had already loosely become friends, and the bond had strengthened when they were all sorted into Gryffindor. All of the first years had introduced themselves at dinner, but the girls' conversation thrived much more without the boys interrupting. Although, without realizing, their conversation was quite similar to that of the boys'. What with all the talk of Pureblood supremacy, the conversation had to turn to Blood Status.

Lily may have been a little shy when meeting new people, but she was always up for a challenge, so she spoke first. "I'm muggleborn." She stared around at the other girls, as if daring them to say anything against her presence at Hogwarts.

Fern Ashford, a girl with dark brown hair cut in a short bob and wearing horn-rimmed spectacles spoke up next. "So'm I, but my mum reckons she had an uncle that could do all this strange stuff that might've been magic, so maybe I've got some magic blood from way back." She pauses for a bit. "Then again, mum always says," she put on an airy tone "'the magic of music can make anything happen,' so she might not be the best person to listen to in this situation."

At this, the girls all burst out laughing. Fern was smiling sheepishly. When they all calmed down, Marlene spoke up. "Mary and I are both Purebloods."

"My mum's a witch, but my dad's a muggle," Leanna spoke. "I think he wanted me to be a squib, because when he met mum, she was a bit of a wild card, so he thought if I didn't have magic I'd be calmer. Mum always rolls her eyes when he brings up how crazy she was. 'That was just me, Eustace. That doesn't have anything to do with magic,' she'd say. Don't think he believed her though."

"So Lily," Mary starts, "Marlene and I wanted to ask-"

"Don't bring me into this!" Marlene cuts in. "This is all you, I don't have a problem."

"Fine," Mary sighs. "I wanted to ask. What's with that friend of yours? That Snape boy?"

Lily sighs. _Why does everyone question my friendship with Sev?_ "Sev lives a few blocks away from me. He was the one who told me I was a witch, and told me all about Hogwarts and the Wizarding World."

"But Lil, he's in _Slytherin_! And you're a _Muggleborn_!" Mary exclaims.

 _Apparently I've already got a nickname. Well, at least it's not 'freak,'_ Lily thinks. "I know. But he's still my friend. Sev doesn't think blood status matters, he's not like Voldemort-" all the girls but Fern flinch- "and his followers."

"Really? How do you know that for sure? How do you know he isn't lying to you?" Apparently it wasn't just Mary who had the problem: it was Marlene who was bursting with the skeptical questions.

"Calm down Marlene. At least she knows about You-Know-Who and his followers." Mary soothes.

The blush begins in Lily's cheeks, but she's sure it will spread. "I don't think Sev would lie to me about what he thinks about blood status. Especially since he's a half-blood himself."

Marlene's eyebrows are scrunching together. "That's not what's making you blush, Lil. Spill."

"Well… Sev was the one who told me about Voldemort- _stop flinching it's just a name!_ \- and his followers, but he wouldn't tell me what they did, or anything. I, uh, found that out from Potter in the boats." She looked down. The mouths of the girls, even Fern and Leanna, who had now learned what they needed to to be able to participate in the conversation, were agape.

"Lily," Mary said, drawing herself up, "you _cannot_ be friends with Snape anymore. You just can't. He didn't tell his best friend about a major thing going on in the Wizarding World that affects her more than anyone else? That's not a healthy relationship!"

Lily looked around at them with her trademark death-stare, the first time any of them would receive it, and most certainly not the last, and spoke. "Severus couldn't have been expected to know whether I'd like to know something like that, and he says the Ministry expects Voldemort to be caught soon anyway. Now I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

After Lily had drawn the curtains around her bed, the other first year girls looked around at each other with wide eyes, then followed Lily's lead.

* * *

 **A/N**

Hello! I hope you enjoyed chapter 1. Thanks for the read, if you're super cool you'll review too.

I'm going to try and update every 2 weeks, always on Sundays, though.

Love, E.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** One little edit, I forgot about Herbology, so I added in a little paragraph for both James and Lily at the end. It's not overly important, but it's there.

James

James had had the most wonderful Christmas break. He loved Hogwarts, of course, but it was nice to see his parents and relatives, and to be back home for a little while. Sirius and Remus had stayed at Hogwarts for the break, but Peter had gone home, even though he had moaned about not wanting to. So Peter was who he looked for when he got back on the Hogwarts Express. He had searched most of the train, and couldn't find him; towards the front he found Lily Evans. They weren't on the best of terms, of course, because she thought his pranks weren't funny, and he often attacked her best friend, though he would never dream of attacking her. But the only other Gryffindor first years he'd seen were Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon, who were sitting about halfway up the train with some Ravenclaw second years he thought he'd seen at his family's annual Christmas Party. He had kept going, and thought that was for the best. Lily seemed like the better option, so he slid open the compartment door.

"Evans?" She looked up slightly. "Can I sit here?" He indicated the seat across from her. She shrugged and looked back down at her book, but her eyes remained fixed on one word.

She was normally so ready to attack him that it felt strange that she wouldn't say anything. A biting retort, or an eye roll, perhaps. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged again, not looking up. "What? Are you having withdrawals from Snivellus? Has it been too long since you've seen him?" That should get her attention. She couldn't stand him making fun of her friend, and it was the kind of teasing statement to her that would get her blood going.

That did it. The fire burning in those green eyes was a little duller than it usually was. She pursed her lips before responding. "No, this has nothing to do with _Severus_ ," she said as if emphasizing his name would make James call him by it. "It's Tuney, if you must know." It looked as though tears were welling up in her eyes, but that couldn't be. Lily was the strongest girl he'd ever met. James refused to believe that she cried. _Ever_.

Still, concerned as he was, James was confused. "What's a _Tuney_?"

"Petunia, as she prefers me to call her now. My sister." She seemed… despondent.

"So this Petunia is the problem. Why don't you just hex her?"

Lily scoffed. "That wouldn't solve the problem. In fact, I think it would make it worse."

James was getting tired of this. _Can't she just tell me the whole story already? I'll get it out of her eventually,_ he thought. "Start from the beginning, would you? I promise I won't interrupt."

Lily glared a little, but she began anyway. "Tuney and I were always best friends. But I started showing signs of magic; I'd fly off swings, and make flowers grow. And one day, Sev came out of the shadows and told me I was a witch, and that I was doing magic. Tuney didn't want to believe it, but then my Hogwarts letter came, and she couldn't deny it anymore. She wrote to Professor Dumbledore and asked him to be able to attend, and Sev and I found his response, saying it wasn't possible. Tuney got mad at me, because she didn't want me to know that she was jealous. She calls me a freak. I've been writing her letters, but she hasn't responded to any yet. I thought we'd work it out over Christmas. I'd gotten her some Chocolate Frogs and some other sweets from the trolley, but when I told her what they were, she threw them away. She hates me, and I can't do anything about it."

True to his word, James hadn't interrupted, and he said nothing of the few tears he saw slip down her face.

"I'm sorry, Lily." What do you say to a story like that? "Every family has its bad eggs. Sirius and my mum are total disappointments to the Blacks, what with their pro-muggle standpoints. My dad's got a cousin that's a pureblood supremacist." She was glaring again. "I'll stop talking now."

She looked back down at her book, put a bookmark in it, and set it aside. "It's alright. Thanks, James." James smiled: she usually called him 'Potter.'

The lunch trolley came around after an hour or so, in which the two sat in comfortable silence, looking out the window. James got up and bought a pumpkin pasty, two cauldron cakes, and quite a few Chocolate Frogs. After he paid the witch who pushed the trolley, he dug a fresh box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans out of his stash of Christmas presents. Lily had pulled a sandwich and an apple from her bag. James set down a cauldron cake, a few Chocolate Frogs, and the box of Every Flavor Beans on the seat next to Lily as she looked up.

He smiled. "Happy Christmas."

She smiled back, picked up her apple, took out her wand, and used a severing charm to cut the apple in half, offering him one of the halves. "The same to you."

He took the apple, and they went back to sitting in silence, munching on their food.

"Here you are, James," Peter Pettigrew slid open the compartment door a little while after lunch. "Hello Evans."

"Where've you been, Peter," James said, just as Lily said "'Lo, Pettigrew."

"I was sitting a few compartments up with Brendan." Peter said.

"I forgot he'd gone home. How was your Christmas?"

"It was alright, I suppose," Peter sighed. "Not very good presents, though."

"Mm. Have a Frog," James offered, as two girls peeked in through the compartment window. It was Mary and Marlene, and they slid open the door.

"Lily, my dear," Mary said. "I thought I'd seen you pass our compartment. Why didn't you come in?"

"I fancied sitting alone for a while," she said. James could've sworn she glanced over at him before saying, "Potter ruined that a few minutes into the train ride, but he's been surprisingly pleasant. I expect he hit his head on the platform." He could never be sure with Lily, but he thought she was teasing.

What with Peter and Mary and Marlene there, it was unlikely to be pleasantly quiet for the rest of the journey as it had been when it was just him and Lily. Though he and Lily continued to be rather quiet. He supposed this was because the two of them had more to think about than just the unfair amount of homework they'd had to do over the break.

* * *

After dinner back at Hogwarts, James pulled out his favorite Christmas present. His father had given him the Invisibility Cloak that had been passed down through the family for generations. Mr. Potter had a stable desk job, so he wouldn't be needing it, and it was tradition to hand it off to the first child as they started at Hogwarts. He hid the cloak down his robes, and met Sirius in the common room. Lily was not there, which meant she was probably still talking to Snape. He'd seen them go towards a staircase hidden behind a tapestry that led up to the transfiguration corridor. They didn't have to worry about curfew for another hour and a half, but spying is always easier when one cannot be seen.

Sirius and James set off towards the staircase, and James told Sirius about what Lily had said on the train.

"Isn't that exactly what she'll tell Snivellus then?" Sirius asked. "Why do we need to spy on them if we already know what they'll talk about?"

"I don't think she and Snivellus should hang out, and I want to be able to prove it." James was determined. "She won't see what Snivellus is really saying when he talks to her, she's blinded by her determination to be friends with him. But we'll be able to see how horrible he really is, and then we can get her to ditch him. The girls think she's crazy for hanging out with him too."

The boys reached the staircase and put on the Invisibility Cloak, then slipped behind the tapestry.

"-can't _do_ anything about it, Lily!" They heard Snape exclaim from halfway up the next flight of stairs. They climbed quietly and pressed themselves against a corner so they could see the two friends, but wouldn't be in the way if they tried to go down the stairs too suddenly.

Lily was crying more freely than when she was on the train with James, but she looked more angry than sad.

"She's my _sister_ , Sev! My first friend! Even if I accept that this is the way it's going to be, we still have to live in the same house!" Her face fell. "Any time I see her, she just has this look of disappointment and… and _animosity_. I don't think I can handle that much longer."

Snape reached out to put his arm around her shoulder, but Lily couldn't see him roll his eyes like James and Sirius could. Still, he sounded concerned and compassionate whenever he spoke.

"You have me. You have your friends here. You don't need her." Lily shrugged herself out from under Snape's arm, looked at him like she couldn't believe him, and ran down the stairs, past James and Sirius, and out into the entrance hall. Snape shook his head, but he looked disappointed in his own slip up of words. He slowly followed her path down the stairs.

James and Sirius looked at each other. James didn't know how to convey it with just a look, but he tried his best to show concern for Lily, hatred of Snape, some excitement that Lily had at least realized that Snape had said something unkind to her, and hope that it was enough for her to ditch him. He didn't think he did very well.

The boys crept down the stairs, and as they pulled aside the tapestry they saw Snape slumping through the door that led to the Slytherin common room. When he was gone they followed the familiar path to Gryffindor tower, pulling off the cloak when they passed the first hidden door. They tried to walk calmly, in case they caught up with Lily, which, in the end, didn't take long. She was sitting on the floor a few feet past the second hidden door. Her tears were gone, but she looked almost despondent.

Trying not to look or sound guilty, James stepped forward. "Lily?"

She jumped a little, and said, "oh, Potter, Black. What're you doing here?"

"We were just…" the slightest pause, not too suspicious, "visiting the kitchens. Speaking of the kitchens… you, er, look like you could use some hot chocolate."

Sirius caught on quickly. "C'mon Evans. Get up, we'll take you down. There's still half an hour until curfew." _Nice touch_ , James thought.

"Well, okay."

They went back down to the entrance hall, then down a staircase across from the one that led to the dungeons into a cheerily lit corridor that had lots of paintings of food. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had discovered the kitchens fairly early on. James had had a vague idea of where they were from his father, and Sirius had gotten a tip off a third year Hufflepuff as to how to get in. It was a good thing to know, because Remus got sick a lot, and so did his mother, so he was out of the castle every month, it seemed, and he always came back looking as tired and hungry as he had on the train that first day, so they would get some food from the kitchens whenever he came back.

"Welcome back, Master James, Master Sirius, sirs!" One of the house elves squeaked. "Are you wanting anything?"

"Three mugs of hot chocolate, if you please," James said. Almost immediately, three house elves carrying a silver tray came running. Atop the tray were three large mugs filled to the brim with steaming brown liquid, and a plate of chocolate chip cookies that looked fresh.

Lily took a mug, and managed to smile at the elves who'd brought the tray. "Thank you very much."

"Anything you wish, miss!" It said, with a wide smile.

The house elves went back to their work as the three drank their cocoa and had some cookies, occasionally checking to ask if they wanted any more.

When they left the kitchens, Lily was considerably happier. James and Sirius had been telling her all of the silly jokes they knew, and occasionally, Lily would even share some of the muggle ones she knew. James thought muggles had a strange sense of humor.

Lily

Lily had kind of wanted to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas break, but she knew her parents wanted her to come home, and she wanted to see Petunia. She'd sent so many letters, but Petunia hadn't responded to a single one. Face to face might be more painful, but at least there would be some answers. But Petunia had avoided her; where talking could be avoided, it was. Petunia had even thrown away Lily's gift to her (some wizard candy). And so, Lily was relieved to get back on the Hogwarts Express after the break. She didn't feel much like sitting with anyone besides Severus at the moment, but he had stayed at Hogwarts for the break, so she walked past the compartment a few of her dorm mates-Marlene and Mary-were sitting with some boys from Ravenclaw, and found an empty compartment toward the front of the train.

She took out her book, a gift her mother had given her for Christmas, because Mrs. Evans thought Lily should still know Muggle literature, and this book had been one of her favorites as a girl. It was called "The Borrowers," and Lily was sure it would be an excellent book if she could bring herself to focus. But she was just too caught up in thinking about Petunia. As she stared at the same word on the same page, the compartment door slid open, and she heard a familiar voice say "Evans?" She looked up, and saw that it was James Potter. "Can I sit here?" he asked. Lily was so despondent that it didn't matter to her, despite the fact that Potter was probably the most infuriating student at Hogwarts. She shrugged and looked back down at the word. He might as well. Her holiday couldn't get any worse than it already had been. Of course, now she would have to avoid crying at all costs; Potter didn't need any ammunition for his teasing.

She could feel Potter's eyes on her. "Are you okay?" he asked. As if he cared how she was feeling.

She shrugged. She hadn't even wanted to talk to Marlene and Mary about this; Potter was the last person she wanted to talk to. But if Potter could ever keep from egging her on, she doubted she'd ever find out, so as she expected, he didn't surrender. "What? Are you having withdrawals from Snivellus? Has it been too long since you've seen him?"

She knew she was giving him what he wanted, but she couldn't help it. Severus was who she really needed to talk to. He was the one who really knew what was going on between her and her sister. "No," she wanted to scream, but settled for saying, "this has nothing to do with _Severus_." She had no idea what possessed her to say what came out next, fighting off tears. "It's Tuney, if you must know."

Somehow, Potter managed to look both confused and perhaps some concern, but she couldn't fathom why he'd be concerned about her. "What's a _Tuney_?" She supposed she couldn't be mad at his ignorance of her sister's pet name; how would he know?

"Petunia," she sighed, "as she prefers me to call her now. My sister." She was trying so hard to show as little emotion as possible-the less ammunition for Potter to use, the better.

"So this Petunia is the problem," it seemed as though he was trying to act like a wise old psychologist, but as far as Lily could tell, no one in the wizarding world knew about the muggle therapists. "Why don't you just hex her?"

Depressed though Lily was, she couldn't help but scoff at his ignorance. "That wouldn't solve the problem. In fact, I think it would make it worse." She just kept digging herself in deeper. Opening up new questions for him to ask, striking at his curiosity.

He must have been thinking along the same lines as her, because he said impatiently, "start from the beginning, would you? I promise I won't interrupt."

She sent him a half-hearted glare before starting. She explained how they had been best friends, but then showed signs of magic, and how Severus told her about being a witch. She told him about the letter she and Sev had found in Tuney's room, and about how she wouldn't respond to the letters she had sent. Then she revealed her hopes for the Christmas holidays and how Petunia had refused to mend their relationship. "She hates me," she concluded, "and I can't do anything about it."

She couldn't help but let a few tears slip down her cheeks, but she was honestly quite glad to have spoken this to someone, even if it was her last choice.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he started. He looked a little star-struck, blinking more than usual, and taking a few deep breaths before continuing. She supposed it wouldn't be an easy thing to respond to. Marlene would tell her that she had lots of friends at Hogwarts so it wouldn't matter. Mary would be more comforting, and would probably say something motherly, like "losing friends is part of growing up." But James had his own response. "Every family has its bad eggs. Sirius and my mum are total disappointments to the Blacks, what with their pro-muggle standpoints. My dad's got a cousin that's a pureblood supremacist." Not overly comforting. She glared. "I'll stop talking now."

Perhaps the wisest thing she'd heard him say. She put away _The Borrowers_ , and said "It's alright. Thanks, James." He had been a good listener, even if she thought his response was a little inappropriate. He grinned at her, probably ecstatic that she'd called him by his first name.

When the lunch trolley came by, Lily began looking for her lunch in her bag as James got up to look through the kind lady's wares. When Lily looked up from pulling her apple and sandwich out of her bag, she saw James in her periphery and looked up. He dumped a cauldron cake, a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, and some chocolate frogs on the seat next to her. He smiled, and wished her a belated happy Christmas.

Feeling like she had to give him something, she used her wand to cut her apple in half, and handed him one of the halves, offering him the same wish.

After they had finished lunch, Peter Pettigrew found them. "Here you are, James," he said. "Hello Evans."

James asked where he'd been as she said hello.

"I was sitting a few compartments up with Brendan." Peter said.

"I forgot he'd gone home. How was your Christmas?" James asked

"It was alright, I suppose," Peter sighed. "Not very good presents, though."

"Mm. Have a Frog," James offered.

Mary and Marlene slid open the door next. "Lily, my dear," Mary said through a grin. "I thought I'd seen you pass our compartment. Why didn't you come in?"

"I fancied sitting alone for a while," she said. She stole a quick glance over at James, hoping he noticed the apology in her eyes; she had to keep up appearances. "Potter ruined that a few minutes into the train ride, but he's been surprisingly pleasant. I expect he hit his head on the platform."

The comfortable silence that Lily had been sharing with James was sure to end now that Mary, Marlene, and Peter had joined them, but it was mostly the three newcomers that did the talking.

* * *

Dinner was probably just as noisy as it always was, but Lily felt as though it was louder than usual. She looked over at Severus multiple times and thought that he'd gotten the message to wait for her after dinner so that they could talk. She wanted to hear what he'd say. He was her best friend, knew the most of any of her friends at Hogwarts about her situation with her sister, and who she trusted the most to give advice she really trusted.

Severus was where they usually met when they needed to have a chat, underneath the hourglasses that recorded the house points. She gave him a quick hug, then they walked to the hidden staircase leading to the transfiguration corridor, knowing it would be empty so they could talk freely.

Before Lily could even ask about Severus' holiday, as she usually would, she began to gush about what had happened. It only took a minute or so before the tears started flowing. She wasn't much of a crier, really, but when it came to her sister, it was inevitable that the waterworks would come. She'd even started crying when the Beatles' song "Yesterday" came on the radio. over the break.

"She threw away my Christmas present, Sev! How could she do that?" She cried, after telling him all about it. Her best friend was silent. She could tell what he was thinking though. He thought that she shouldn't have gotten a magical present for her sister, knowing of her newfound hatred of all things magical. He was so much more logical about these things, but he was also less emotionally attached, so he could afford to be like that.

Critical though he was, his presence was comforting. He patted her on the shoulder, and told her it would be all right. "Lily, there's nothing about Petunia that you can change from here. You should focus on school. It'll keep your mind off her, and it'll make you happy. I know how much you love it here, and I know you wouldn't trade your spot here for anything."

Another sob racked her body, and she rumbled out quietly "at this point I might. For her." She didn't think Sev would be able to hear her, but as she felt his body freeze next to her, she knew he had. But Sev didn't understand her position. His family was terrible. Well, his mother was alright, but his father ruined the picture, and she couldn't understand why such a brilliant and kind witch would choose to marry someone so awful as Severus' father. But her family was wonderful. Her mother and father loved each other so much, her father was devoted to her girls, her mother was wise and kind and beautiful, and Petunia… Well, Lily couldn't really think of any redeeming qualities of her beloved sister for the moment. But she knew they were still there, somewhere. She braced herself for his explosion, she knew it would come. Perhaps it would start small, just the quiet rage he had perfected so his father wouldn't detect it, but when he was around her he felt safer to show his anger, and so he would.

"Would you really?" His voice was a whisper. "Would you be able to leave all of this behind? I know you Lily. I know you love the magic too much to pretend to be a muggle for the rest of your life."

"I-" Lily tried to explain herself, but she cut herself off with a dry sob at the same time Severus cut her off with his rage.

"I know you love her," he shouted, although Severus' shout was more like loud speaking, but that was just how Severus' voice was. "I know you want her back, and I know you think it's unfair that she doesn't have magic too, but you and I both know that you can't _do_ anything about it, Lily!" Lily knew her friend was right, but she couldn't stop her anger. The tears were staining her uniform shirt, but she couldn't stop them no matter how hard she tried.

"She's my _sister_ , Sev! My first friend! Even if I accept that this is the way it's going to be, we still have to live in the same house!" That was as far as her anger could get her, and she was just… _Sad_ again. "Any time I see her, she just has this look of disappointment and… and _animosity_. I don't think I can handle that much longer."

Severus' arm began to reach across her shoulders to hold her, as he said, "You have me. You have your friends here. You don't need her." He didn't sound mad anymore, but those words, _you don't need her_ , they brought her anger back in full swing. She couldn't believe that her best friend could think that those words would be wise when she was like this. She wanted to hit him. Not hex him, not jinx or curse him, hit him. A spell may bring more damage, but a fist would always feel more satisfying. She pulled herself from under his arm, and tried to convey her anger and her deep desire to give him a black eye, and her continuing sadness about her sister all in one look. She didn't think she did very well. She ran down the stairs, blinking tears out of her eyes as she pushed through the tapestry hiding the staircase she'd been hidden in with Sev, and raced into the entrance hall. She traversed the well beaten path to Gryffindor tower, wiping her eyes on her sleeves all the while.

She made it past the second hidden door on the way to the tower before collapsing. She had run out of tears to shed, but she couldn't bring herself to make it all the way to Gryffindor tower, where she would no doubt have to answer to her roommates about where she had been and what was wrong (at the very least Mary and Marlene, but Fern and Leanna would probably like to know as well).

So sitting on the floor feeling like her world was crashing down on her was how James Potter and Sirius Black found her. She jumped when Potter said her name, but managed to ask what the two of them were doing there without sounding as though she had just drowned in her own tears.

"We were just… visiting the kitchens," James said. She doubted it. They were probably setting up their next prank. "Speaking of the kitchens… you, er, look like you could use some hot chocolate." That _did_ sound good…

"C'mon Evans." Black was being uncharacteristically gentle. "Get up, we'll take you down. There's still half an hour until curfew."

She wasn't really sure she would care if it were after curfew. She couldn't think about anything she cared about right now aside from her relationship with her sister. "Well, okay," she responded, pushing herself away from the floor.

The boys led her back the way they had come, but once they returned to the entrance hall, then went down a staircase she hadn't explored yet. The hallway it ended in was very warmly lit and if she were to use one word to describe it, she would use cozy. There were lots of pictures of food along it, but they stopped in front of one that featured a bowl of fruit. James, the tallest of the three, stood on his toes to reach up and tickle the pear, which then transformed into a handle that he pulled. Had Lily been in a better mood, she may have been amazed at this magic. The three stepped through the door, and were immediately surrounded by small creatures about three feet tall with big eyes and ears. They were all wearing towels stamped with the Hogwarts crest like togas across their bodies. Lily decided that these must be House Elves. She had heard about them from Mary and Marlene, each of whose families had a few.

She wasn't very surprised at the squeaky voice of the elf, it was what she'd expected. "Welcome back, Master James, Master Sirius, sirs! Are you wanting anything?" She wondered if all house elves spoke this way. The broken English was a little odd. She thought that if she were ever to own a house elf that she would teach it proper English. Though she wasn't sure she'd want to own one. She liked taking care of everything herself, so if she ever owned one it probably wouldn't have any work to do.

James politely asked for a mug of hot chocolate for each of them, and it wasn't long at all until three house elves carrying a large silver tray above their heads. There were three steaming mugs and a plate of chocolate chip cookies that looked freshly baked on the tray. As Lily took a mug, she managed a small smile for the elves, and thanked them. It smiled back, saying, "anything you wish, miss!"

The elves went back to scrubbing the kitchens as Lily sat with Potter and Black, but would always ask whether they wanted more snacks when they passed by.

Potter and Black told her jokes all the while, and she would even use some of her dad's jokes on them. Sometimes they got confused, since neither of them really knew about muggle life, but she did her best to explain, and she had a feeling they always laughed, whether they really got it or not.

James

The year went by quickly. James and his friends got into plenty of mischief and had their fair share of detentions, but those detentions were a mark of honor to he and Sirius. Remus typically managed to avoid detentions, having done most of his prank work in the planning department. Peter tended to get less than he and Sirius, but more than Remus. Being of no extraordinary talent, he was a minimal supporter of the group's suspicious activities.

James was generally concerned about Lily Evans, though he would never tell her that. He would watch her varying degrees of sadness. She wasn't necessarily constantly unhappy, but when she was not being amused, she just looked sad. Or perhaps concerned. Whenever she received mail from her parents, she typically spent the time when not in class crying; James assumed it was because her sister's name had been absent from the bottom.

James had expected the final exams to be harder. Of course, History of Magic was relatively difficult, seeing as no one could bring themselves to actually pay attention to Professor Binns. When he had learned that a ghost would be teaching the class, he expected it to be exciting, if only because the professor was a ghost. He had been dreadfully wrong. But he got by because Remus generally made it through half of each class before being lulled into the inevitable stupor the rest of the class had entered about three minutes into the period. From those notes, the Gryffindor first years managed to read the covered chapters in A History of Magic, by Bathilda Bagshot. James figured he could probably send a letter to Ms. Bagshot if it came to it, she was an older (but not quite elderly) witch who lived near the Potter's cottage in Godric's Hollow, so James had met her quite a few times, and knew she liked him; he was quite a polite child when he wasn't putting frog spawn in all the boys' toilets.

He was quite sure he had aced Defense Against the Dark Arts. The extensive library in the Potter Mansion in London had quite a few books on the subject, and he'd read at least half the library when he wasn't practicing his flying. On top of that, Professor Kipling was an excellent teacher. He was very straightforward, pointing out exactly where you were going wrong if you couldn't properly work one of the spells he was teaching. He didn't bother with trying to let you figure out what miniscule thing you were mistaking, but instead, simply told you that you were pronouncing the spell wrong, or your wrist was moving too much or not enough. He'd never gotten a single point off of a piece of homework, and had gotten full marks on almost all of his exams without really trying, and the final exam had been a piece of cake in his opinion. Unfortunately, there had been a nasty accident in one of the NEWT level classes, and it seemed as though Professor Kipling would still be in St. Mungo's by the start of the next term, if he even wanted to come back after that. James had only heard rumors, but the most common one was that he had been turned entirely inside-out. It sounded painful, and James couldn't really blame the Professor if he decided to take a less dangerous job. The seventh year who had done it seemed particularly terrified, thinking that perhaps some of the other students could have had a steady Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for more than a year. All of the older students said the job was cursed, and no one had been there longer than a year for twenty-six years.

He also figured he must have aced transfiguration. He had a particular knack for these spells; they seemed easy to him. He wasn't overly sure how he felt about Professor McGonagall. For one, she was very strict, and would subtract more house points than other teachers if she caught their little group going about their usual hijinks, even though it was her own house she was taking points from. Something about "expecting better from her students." But she was also pretty cool. Any student who mouthed off to her would get a detention and maybe some house points taken, but that was after she'd hit them back with a witty retort. Plus, she was an animagus. James had read about animagi, and their special powers, and he knew he wanted to be one, so finding out his own head of house was what he aspired to be was an especially amazing thing.

Charms wasn't the easiest final, but it wasn't truly difficult either. What impressiveness Professor Flitwick lacked in size, he made up for in knowledge. He preferred to let the students figure out their problems for themselves, unlike Professor Kipling. Lily, along with Remus, had flourished under this situation; she always seemed happy in charms class. He did enjoy the class, it just wasn't anything extraordinary, so he got bored.

Astronomy's one saving grace was having class at midnight. James hated memorizing all the names of the stars and tracking them across the sky, and Professor Kynaston was an entirely forgettable person. She was plain, and her personality seemed to revolve around astronomy, which James saw as a very pointless subject. All the same, he paid attention in class and memorized all the necessary names well enough to do decently on the final.

Herbology was boring. He'd heard from Professor Cheshire that as you get older, you get to work with the more dangerous plants, and he looked forward to that. But mostly it was a lot of memorizing the proper way to handle plants and what each plant did or was used for. It was very tedious work to James.

Perhaps his least favorite subject (aside from History of Magic, though he had long since stopped considering it a subject) was Potions. His exam had gone rather poorly for James' standards, but he wasn't sure it was fair to expect a perfect potion from a memorized recipe. It was just so methodical, and James couldn't really stand to follow instructions as resolutely as was intended when brewing potions. He could have been better at the subject, but he simply didn't have the patience to pay attention to whether the cauldron was on the fire for twelve or twenty minutes, or whether his powdered unicorn horn was a fine powder or if it still had chunks the size of his finger. Professor Slughorn was rather annoying, frankly. He was a kind enough man, but he was always so focused on whether he wanted to add you to the "Slug Club" once you reached fourth year. He showed signs of wanting to collect James, because of his family and how connected he was, but seemed a little put off when he realized that James received "Exceeds Expectations" grades in potions at best. James figured he would still be a target later on, but he also decided that he would avoid attending the little parties Professor Slughorn put on if he could. He'd heard good things about the Christmas parties, so he thought he might attend one or two throughout the year to secure the coveted Christmas invite, but overall, it seemed rather dull and Slytherin-heavy.

Lily

Lily's first year at Hogwarts had been more tumultuous than expected. Her ongoing troubles with Petunia had not helped her any, but all the same, she was glad she was a witch. Despite her other friends' urging, she and Severus were still best friends. They saw less of each other, being in different houses, but that seemed to have strengthened their friendship. They often met to study together in the library, and because they had Potions together, tended to work at the same bench. Despite their thoughts of Lily's serious lack of judgement, Mary and Marlene had become very close friends with the girl. Leanna and Fern were closest to each other, and quite obviously preferred Lily over their other two roommates, but the girls were all relatively close. But Lily's best friend in Gryffindor house became Remus Lupin. She thought he was crazy for how close he was with Potter and Black, but Remus was intelligent and studious, and very kind. Lily assumed he was the reason she had never been the butt of Potter's group's jokes. She'd noticed that he was gone very often throughout the year, coming back after a couple of days saying he or his mother had been ill, and he'd had to leave the school grounds for a while, or had been holed up in the hospital wing. Lily knew he'd want his homework, so she developed a habit of stopping by the hospital wing to give the day's homework to him the first evening of his absence, but he was never there. One of those days, she noticed happened to be the full moon. After that, she began to wonder if werewolves really existed. It wouldn't really surprise her, living in the magical world, and all. So she began to track his absences, marking down whenever he was gone, and she took down a book about werewolves in the library to read. With three months left in the school year, Lily knew that her friend was a werewolf. She kept her mouth shut though. If Remus didn't tell her he was a werewolf, he didn't want her to know, so she would pretend she didn't. And if he didn't want her to know, he definitely didn't want anyone else to know.

Lily needn't have studied for final exams as much as she did. She thought the only ones where studying was really necessary were History of Magic and Astronomy.

History of Magic was an interesting subject on its own, but Professor Binns wasn't a good teacher. You'd think a ghost would be interesting; all the other ghosts she'd met at Hogwarts had great stories to tell, but if Professor Binns were to commentate for a quidditch match, she was sure that even the players would manage to fall asleep. But she managed to do well enough in the class by reading the textbook.

Astronomy was dull. She was always so tired throughout the class, and just wanted to go to bed, but she was forced to stare up at the stars and memorize names instead, and she had yet to learn what use the subject would be to her. And really, the only professor that couldn't beat Professor Kynaston in a teaching contest would be Professor Binns. It was rather sad, in Lily's opinion.

By contrast, the best subject was Potions. Lily already knew she loved potions, having spent a lot of time with Severus and his mother, but the practical uses were endless, and learning about potions more in-depth was fantastic. Professor Slughorn loved her and Severus. He had known Severus' mother, and was very happy to learn that Severus had her talent. He was very surprised to learn that Lily was muggleborn, but all the same, he said he saw such talent in her. She had heard from some of the older students that Professor Slughorn had a little club for all the students he thought had a lot of potential, or were really well connected, and she had a feeling she was on his watch list.

Herbology was mainly interesting because of the magical properties of the plants for potions purposes. While the practical experience was good, and Professor Cheshire was excellent, her passion for potions was what really made herbology riveting. But like potions, it was more about the properties and knowledge than an affinity for magic, which made it somewhat more interesting.

As for classes that had to do more with magic, she loved Charms. Professor Flitwick liked to let you figure things out for yourself, and that was just how she thought learning was meant to be; the job was really the student's, not the teacher's. She also loved the kind of magic that was involved with Charms. It was so whimsical, making objects float and the like. The other classes were interesting and spell-binding enough, but muggle magicians were imitating Charms more than anything else, so she supposed that drew her to it.

Transfiguration was a really fascinating subject, but she supposed she'd be more interested later on. Just turning a match into a needle wasn't really all that exciting, she thought. Perhaps it would be useful later on, but she wanted to get to some of the more grand Transfigurations. Unfortunately, Professor McGonagall said they wouldn't transfigure anything live until third year. Still, the subject had potential, so she decided she'd save judgement on it for a later year.

The same was true for Defense Against the Dark Arts. It was all rather simple at this point; not necessarily easy, but not hard either. Professor Kipling was a good teacher, but his style was so different from what she thought was the ideal style. She didn't really mind him, but she couldn't really decide what she wanted from a teacher in this subject. But according to the older students, someone new would have a chance every year, as the position was apparently jinxed. This year saw its teacher apparently turned inside-out in a NEWT level course. Lily wondered what spell would be used to turn a person inside-out. Of course, she was very upset that a teacher had been injured, but the idea in itself was rather fascinating. Although, she ought not to have expressed this to her roommates, given their reactions.

 **A/N:** Well, there you go, chapter 2! Next chapter moves on to second year.

Hope you enjoyed, leave me a review? Please?

E


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Okay, a few things to cover:

1\. I'M SORRY! It's been a long time, I know, but this past semester was my own personal hell, so that's that.

2\. Well, now that some more information has been released on the new Pottermore, this story won't be as canon as possible anymore. Sorry. Not about to change it now.

3\. So because the scheduled thing didn't really work out, I'm probably just going to upload whenever I have a chapter ready from now on.

4\. The chapters are probably going to be shorter for a while now, because I looked up word count of chapters in early HP books, and found out I was doing like twice that and struggling to reach the count I wanted, so there's that.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter, or any of it's characters. It's the story itself that's original.

James

It was a week from the start of James' second year, but he was still finding it hard to keep from bouncing off the walls. Rather than the start of the school year, this was because Sirius would be arriving within the hour to spend the week at the Potter's mansion, and then go to King's Cross Station with them.

The boys had been exchanging letters for the past few months, and had quite a lot to discuss without worrying about whether Sirius' parents would read their letters.

The Black family had only consented to let Sirius stay with the Potters for a week because they were happy to pass off the task of dropping him off for the train to Hogwarts, even though they would be bringing Sirius' younger brother Regulus there anyway. Sirius had gotten a Howler from his parents in the first week of their first year, scolding him for being in Gryffindor, but Sirius had worn it like a badge of honor. James wondered if he still felt the same after spending the summer confined with his parents. Obviously, their first son had fallen from Orion and Walburga Black's good graces.

A knock rang through the entrance hall, and James leapt from his position on the edge of the bottom step and was the first to the door. As he opened it on the pair of stern looking Black's and a third that looked even more excited than James, his mother and father appeared at his shoulder. Sirius' parents tried their hardest to hide their scowls at their disgraced relatives, but they showed through. Still, Charlus and Dorea Potter were very polite people.

"Walburga! Orion!" Mrs. Potter smiled. "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?"

"Oh, no," Orion sneered. "We've no time whatsoever. The former Minister invited us to take luncheon with him. Ignatius is an old family friend, you see. Here's Sirius. Good afternoon."

The eyerolls of all three Potter's and Sirius were almost imperceptible. It was just like a haughty pureblood family like the Black's to point out their connections at any possible opportunity.

The Black's turned on their heels and marched away until they disapparated with a sharp crack after passing the gate at the entrance to the Potter grounds. Sirius turned back to James from watching his parents, and grinned. James grinned back even bigger and grabbed one end of Sirius' trunk. Together, the boys carried it up the stairs and placed it in the room next to James'.

Not long after, Mrs. Potter called up to them to tell them that lunch was ready. Together, they bounded down the stairs and into the dining room. Throughout lunch, James monitored the expressions of his best friend. James was worried about how Sirius had been affected by spending summer with his family. He knew his friend would try and brush it off as no big deal, but James would get him to say what he really felt after a while. After lunch, James took Sirius on a tour of the house, and then the boys went outside to practice flying a little, and to play with the old quaffle in the broom shed.

"You're trying out for chaser this year, right James?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think I'll get it. Captains usually choose older players because they have less time to play, even if someone younger is better for the position." He puffed out his chest at this, and while he was distracted with thinking himself big, Sirius threw the quaffle at his head.

"Ten points!" He laughed, falling a little in the effort to keep himself on his broom.

"Hey!" James objected. "I could play! I'm good!"

"I'm not saying you aren't good," Sirius chuckled. "I'm saying you're a prat, and the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team wouldn't want a prat on his team, or someone who couldn't even see when a quaffle was coming straight for his head."

His pride a little damaged, James accelerated toward the ground, followed by Sirius. "It's almost six o'clock, mom will probably call us for tea soon, let's put the brooms away," he said, rubbing his head where the quaffle hit.

After a delicious supper, the boys retired to James' room to begin their Very Important Discussion.

"Okay," Sirius opened, "what's this theory you have?"

"Well, you know how Remus is always gone, right?"

"Yeah. He says he and his mum get sick a lot."

"Sure, that's what he'd tell us and anyone else," James started. "He wouldn't want anyone to know why he's really missing."

"Could you just spit it out?" Ever impatient, Sirius egged James on.

"Well, I was thinking about it, and if I've got it right, he's gone for a day every month."

"You don't honestly think—"

"Yeah, I do!"

"But he's so young—"

"That doesn't mean anything, they'll bite anyone when they're like that."

"The teachers wouldn't allow it, it's too dangerous!"

"Dumbledore is all for allowing them to be part of society, I bet he'd put his foot down," James reasoned. "I thought you'd think this is cool? One of your best friends is most definitely a werewolf!"

"Werewolves are dangerous! I mean, of course it's cool," Sirius caved, "but that doesn't mean they're not dangerous! And we don't actually know he is, James, it's just a hunch."

"Okay, so we don't actually know for sure, but that doesn't mean he's not, and he _probably_ is, right?"

"Well, yeah, logically," Sirius sighs, "but we should track when he's gone for a while before we do anything, or get our hopes up."

"Fine," James allowed.

"Er- thanks," Sirius says, quietly. "For not putting your theory in our letters. My parents definitely wouldn't have let me go back to Hogwarts if they thought one of my friends was a werewolf."

"I figured they'd do something horrible."

Sirius smirked in the way he does when he's got something funny to say at someone they hates' expense. "You mean like existing?"

James chuckled. "Yeah, but if they didn't exist, neither would you." James smiled at Sirius, and his friend returned it.

"Chess?" James asked.

Sirius nodded.

Lily

It was a week until the new school year would start, and not even Petunia's sour expression and cruel words could keep Lily from skipping around the house. The past two months had been unpleasant to say the least. It was a long time to spend with someone who hated you. But that didn't mean she wasn't enjoying her summer. She spent most days with Severus, but sometimes Mary or Marlene would get their parents to pick her up by side-along apparition to spend a couple of days with them.

She adamantly enjoyed both her days with Severus and Mary and Marlene equally, and that's what she would tell her parents and friends, but she knew she enjoyed her time with the girls more. She attributed it to the novelty of spending time with girls who liked her during the summer, or perhaps because Severus was a bit more of a downer when he was at home because of his father.

One particular day not long ago had really shown Lily the divide that her being sorted into Gryffindor had ripped between her and her best friend. Of course, it was more because of her housemates, really. James Potter and Sirius Black seemed to go out of their way to make sure Severus was as miserable as possible. Lily had tried her best to get them to stop, but they would never listen to her. But now, Severus was on a course she couldn't abide by.

"And it's not just them!" Severus raged. "That Lupin that goes around with them, have you noticed how often he's gone?"

"Yes Sev, I have," Lily said in what she hoped was a calming tone, but figured it was probably more exasperated. "He gets ill a lot, and so does his mother. He typically has to leave the school."

"Is he really ill, though? You probably haven't paid enough attention to your _buddy_ to notice that he's always gone the day of the full moon!"

"Is he?" Lily said lightly. She knew that her friend was a werewolf, of course, but she was not nearly rude enough to say anything about it. She knew that wizarding culture was even more negative towards werewolves than it was towards muggleborns. But if Severus started this rumor, she knew it couldn't be good for Remus, so she had to make him think he was wrong. "Perhaps you should look up the word 'coincidence' in the dictionary."

Severus scoffed at her. "You're just defending him because he's a Gryffindor."

"In case you hadn't noticed," Lily said scathingly, "I don't just protect other Gryffindors. In fact, I defend _you_ way more often than I defend anyone in Gryffindor house. And if you think on that, you may notice that I don't defend just anyone. I defend my friends. So perhaps you should stop insinuating things about my friends if you'd like me to continue to defend you when you need me to."

She marched home from the park where they had been sitting on the swings without looking back, even though she desperately wanted to look back to see Severus' expression.

He'd been absent from the park for a few days after that, leaving Lily stranded with her sister. The easiest days were those that Petunia brought a friend home, because even if Petunia were allowed to tell anyone about where her younger sister spent the school year, she wouldn't dare: she had to avoid becoming a freak by association. Even though her friends were all just as horrible as her, they left Lily alone, so that was fine by her. It was better than the jeered comments Petunia aimed at her under her breath so Mr. and Mrs. Evans wouldn't hear.

Lily would never truly give up on trying to get her sister back, but she knew that trying would only make Petunia resent her more, so she had decided at the beginning of the summer that she would ignore the rude comments and the looks that stabbed into her for the whole two months. Perhaps once Christmas rolled around, Petunia would be less cruel.

The last week before Lily would go back to school felt as though it lasted as long as the rest of the summer. She felt trapped, not being able to do magic, and even more so now that her return was so close at hand. Practically counting down the hours, Lily would quickly lose interest in any book she tried to read, or any television show she usually watched with her parents. She would run to the park and play on the swings and do cartwheels, but she'd be back in her room in under an hour, trying to find a new activity that would occupy her time.

Most often, she found herself packing and repacking her trunk, double- and triple-checking that she had everything she would need. She'd bought her textbooks a week ago, meeting up with Mary and Marlene in Diagon Alley. She'd tried reading many of them, but came across the same problem as she had with every other book, being unable to focus, so they were stacked in her trunk. He potions supplies were packed away tightly and safely enough that she didn't have to worry about any bottles breaking. She'd learned how to consolidate space in her trunk so well that she even managed to squeeze in her portable turntable and a few favorite records without having to worry about having enough space for the necessary things.

Sirius

Sirius needed some air. It was past midnight, and he and the other second year boys had gone to bed hours ago, but while the deep breathing of James, Remus, and Brendan, and Peter's snores had punctured the silence soon after, he lay awake.

After dinner that night, he and Regulus had exited the Great Hall at the same time. Regulus sneered, and he had snarled back, "what are you looking at, Black?"

"Just some kid without a family," Regulus had bitten back.

It wasn't much, but it still made Sirius mad. It still kept him up. So he lifted his body from his bed, and pulled on the dressing gown with his initials monogrammed on it, slipped his feet into his slippers, and went down to the common room, thinking of taking a nighttime stroll through the castle. At least he could find some more secret passages if he was going to be awake.

When he reached the base of the stairs, he saw that the fire was still burning low, and there was what appeared to be a letter on the ground beside one of the cozier chairs, as well as a squat, square box, white and blue. Then a little sigh came from the chair. Brow furrowed, Sirius approached the chair to find a girl with fiery hair curled up in it, asleep. The fire highlighted the tear stains running down her face.

He bent down and picked up the letter, then sat on the floor, angling himself away from the fire so he could read by its light.

 _Lily,_

 _Thank you for the birthday present, I'm only keeping it because mum will expect to see it. My party was a huge success. All of my friends came and had a wonderful time. Ellie Carver broke up with her boyfriend in the middle of it. It was quite dramatic. I'm glad you weren't there._

 _Honestly, I think you've made a huge mistake with your life, running off and living in a fantasy. I'm surprised mum and dad haven't found you a therapist yet. Really though, you'll never truly belong here ever again, and you should probably just never come back. Mum and dad may hide it, but I don't think they want you here any more than I do._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Petunia_

"Lily." Sirius said, and she opened bleary eyes. "Family sucks, doesn't it?"

She nodded. "My mum and dad aren't bad," her voice sounded stuffy from the crying.

He offered her the letter. She shook her head. "No, I don't want it."

Sirius didn't drop his arm. "Trust me, Lily, I've had more experience with this than you. Take the letter." Tentatively, Lily reached out, and grabbed the letter. "Okay, now read it again."

"Why?"

"Because the first time just makes you sad," he started. She was staring at him, and tears were threatening to spill again. "The next time makes you more angry. Then you read it again, and the sadness is mostly gone, and you're still really angry, but you start to see how dumb it is. You have to read that letter over and over again until it makes you want to laugh because it is so stupid, and so funny."

She looked down at the page, and read it again. "I don't see how I could ever find this funny."

He fought off a smirk. He may not talk to Lily Evans a whole lot, but he knew her well enough to know that she was going back to her normal, logical, and somewhat emotional self. "But you will. Because it is funny. It's funny to think that they ever thought that they could hurt you, or bring you down, or make you sad. Read it again."

Sirius almost didn't catch the eye roll. But she read it again. And she shook her head. And she read it again, and again, and again, and then, she started chuckling.

"She honestly thought that I would believe her when she told me my parents didn't love me and didn't want me to come back?" She was really laughing now, and Sirius smiled.

"I told you. Now rip it into quarters."

She held the letter in front of her, grasping it at the the center of the long edge, and ripped slowly, drawing it out. Sirius revelled in the sound of tearing paper, and it seemed that that was what Lily was doing as well. She ripped the two halves in half, not drawing it out quite as much.

"Pick a quarter and burn it." He gestured to the fire. Lily slid off the chair and sat on her knees. Before burning the paper though, she turned to the box Sirius had noticed and opened the lid. Inside was a turntable. His parent's had never bought one, thinking music was a waste of energy and talent, but James' parents had one, and they spent a lot of time listening to The Hobgoblins. But when Lily turned the turntable on, he heard music he'd never heard before. Lily turned around, and held a quarter of the paper to the fire, letting the flames lick into the page, holding the corner for as long as she could before letting the page fall into the coals.

"Just keep burning it, quarter by quarter." She didn't need that piece of instruction; she already had the next fraction in the flames, waiting for one to catch.

He watched as she burned the letter. "How come Mary and Marlene aren't down here with you? Or Ashford, or Talbot?"

"I didn't want to bother them."

Sirius' eyes widened. He stared at her, though she wouldn't take her eyes off the fire, rock music playing softly in the background. He suspected she couldn't. He had been the same the first time he'd burned one of his parents' letters. "Sparks, your friends shouldn't be bothered by helping you through something like this. That's part of being a _friend_."

"I usually go to Sev about Petunia. He already knows about it."

"Oh, so that makes it so your other friends won't want to know why you're upset?" He asked, incredulously and sarcastically. "Look, Sparks, they'll want to know. Sharing the crap that goes on in your life, even if that life has nothing to do with your life with them, is part of being friends with somebody. I learned that with James after like a month with him, and Remus and Peter got roped in pretty quick too."

"Did you call me 'Sparks'?"

"Not the point, Sparks."

"Okay," she sighed, "but how do I start a conversation that… hard?"

"Are you honestly trying to tell me that Nosey MacDonald hasn't asked you why you're upset?"

"Fair enough."

They sat listening to the music for a while, still on the floor by the fire. Sirius looked around the room. He'd only really seen it bustling with activity. Sure, he and James (and sometimes Remus and Peter) had snuck out their fair share, but they never stayed in the common room long. It was dark and shadowy, but so peaceful. Lily was staring at the fire. It didn't seem like she was thinking about anything, just feeling.

"So," Lily broke the silence. "Sparks?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, just above a whisper. It didn't seem right to break the quiet of the room. "Sparks, like, fiery. Not just in the whole, y'know, burning a letter thing, but you kind of snap at stuff. Like James and me when we pull pranks that you don't approve of. Or like when we're in Charms or Potions, and you get excited. I think you're alive in the same way that fire is alive."

Lily was staring. He thought only part of her was staring at him though. Most of her was staring through him. Seeing the truth in what he was saying. She didn't say anything for a while.

"Thank you, Sirius," she finally started, "for showing me how to deal with my sister. And," she paused, "I'm sorry. About your brother, I mean. I saw what happened outside the Great Hall earlier. I suppose it's easier when you have a letter to burn. But you know, what he said, you can still laugh about how ridiculous it is."

Sirius looked at the fire. She was right. It _was_ easier when you had a letter to burn. He kept replaying the scene, but he got stuck at the anger phase.

Lily's hand reached out, and he felt her fingers touch his. "You do have a family, Sirius. It's not him, and it's not your parents. It's Potter, and Remus, and Pettigrew, and now I think it's me too."

Sirius went slackjaw and looked up at Lily. There were tears building in his eyes but he didn't care. Lily scooted over to him and they were hugging and crying for who knows how long, but probably longer, Sirius thought, than any other twelve year old boy and girl would. But that was a product of crappy family and friends more perfect than he could really understand having.

"What is this, by the way?" Sirius pointed at the turntable.

"You've never seen a turntable before?"

"No, I mean the band. They're good."

"Oh, The Rolling Stones. They're a muggle band. My favorite."

Silence fell between them, and they both lay spread-eagle on the floor in front of the dying fire until the album ended.

Lily

"How long were you in the Common Room last night, Lils?" Mary asked. "You weren't back at one, when I got up to get a glass of water. And you seem a little tired."

 _Nosey MacDonald_ , Lily thought, fighting off a snort. "I think I came back around two."

"I can tell you right now," Marlene said, "she _will not_ stop until you give in and tell her what's got you upset."

Lily sighed. "I got a letter from my sister yesterday."

"The sister who won't stop calling you a freak for being a witch? That sister?" Marlene asked with a scowl, and Lily nodded.

"Why even bother?" Mary asked. "If she hates you, why bother writing you? And you don't seem quite as upset as you did yesterday."

"Well, she wrote me, I suppose, because she wanted me to know how much she truly hates me, and to try and make me think my parents hated me too," Lily explained, turning to face them, smirking. "But she failed."

Mary and Marlene exchanged a quick glance before Mary spoke. "Spill. Leave nothing out. Let's hear it."

"Well, she started with 'thanking me' for the birthday present. You remember that sweater?" Mary gave a quick nod, and Lily continued. "She said she was glad I hadn't been at her party. And then that she thought I was throwing my life away, before finally saying what she really wanted to say. Something like 'I don't want you to come back, and mum and dad don't really want you back either, but they would never actually tell you.'"

Marlene's anger showed on her face, but Mary was the first to speak. "Lily, you know you have a right to be upset, right? It hasn't even been a full day, and you seem completely okay again. You're not trying to… put on a brave face, or anything, are you? So we don't worry?"

"No, well, I just find it funny now."

Marlene's anger turned to confusion. "You're telling me that your sister told you that she and your parents want to disown you, and you think it's _funny?_ "

"Er, yeah. She tried to convince me that my parents didn't love me. It's honestly hilarious. If my parents love anything in this world, it's me and Petunia. There's no way they could fake that."

"Well, I'm impressed Lil," Mary said. "I mean, I know you're… very… logical… and all, but this is a little extreme."

Lily was getting tired of sighing during this conversation. "Sirius, er, helped."

Mary raised her eyebrows, then looked at Marlene. The two of them started giggling. Lily sighed again. She had almost forgotten that Mary had started to notice boys, and was dragging Marlene down with her. "Oh, nothing like that. You know how Sirius has issues with his family. He knows how to deal with this kind of thing, so he taught me how to make it easier. And then we listened to the Stones until we both calmed down and I came back up here."

"So you told Sirius Black that your sister wrote an awful letter, but you didn't tell us?" Mary looked a little hurt.

"I was asleep in a chair, when he came down, and he read the letter before he woke me up. And I was too tired and too upset to really realize that I wouldn't normally talk to him about this." She paused. "But I'm glad I did."

"So, are you telling us because you're more… okay now?" Lily looked at Marlene. _Maybe I am,_ Lily thought. _Maybe I'm not really just taking Sirius' advice. What if I am only telling them because I feel okay about it now? I don't think I am._

"Sirius gave me some more advice," she finally spoke. "He told me I needed to talk to you guys more. To rely on my friends."

Mary and Marlene were smiling at her.

"Let's go get some breakfast."

As the girls emerged from the Girls' Dormitories, Sirius, Potter, Remus, and Pettigrew exited the Boys'.

"Good morning, boys," Mary said.

"Hello, girls," Potter responded.

"Mornin' Sparks," Sirius smiled at Lily.

Lily smiled back. "Hi, Sirius."

Lily could've sworn she'd seen James Potter narrow his eyes at the two as the groups merged and started walking through the castle to the Great Hall.

James

"Keep going," James instructed Remus and Peter, putting his arm on Sirius' and pulling him into a bathroom.

"We'll be late for Transfiguration," Sirius said, puzzled.

"Sparks?" James said, accusingly.

"Yeah. I thought it was perfect. Don't you think?"

"Well, I suppose, but…"

"But I gave her a nickname, not you," Sirius theorized. "You don't have a monopoly on nicknames, James. Lily's my friend. One of the best ones I have, I think. I don't want anything more than that."

James recoiled a bit. "Well, neither do I," he said, surprised and agape.

Sirius smirked and chuckled. "You keep telling yourself that, James." He started walking toward the door.

James grabbed his wrist. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You and Lily'll be the last to know, apparently," Sirius jerked his wrist from James' hand and caught James' wrist, pulling him out the door as the bell rang. "I told you we'd be late for Transfiguration," he said with a sigh.

James remained stoically silent, so Sirius filled it.

"Last night."

"What?"

"That's when I thought up Sparks, and started calling her that."

"What happened last night?" James asked, but they were just outside the Transfiguration classroom, so the conversation was cut short as they entered, apologising to Professor McGonagall.

* * *

"You have a story to finish," James said, immediately following the bell. "And you'd better be quick, because we only have ten minutes and I'm not waiting another hour."

"Is this about how Sirius called Evans 'Sparks'?" Peter asked.

Sirius nodded. "She got a letter from her sister yesterday. It broke her up quite a bit. And I was mad at Reg, so I went down to the Common Room, and found her dozing on a chair. I read the letter, then woke her up and taught her how to deal with family members hating you."

"Lily did seem pretty upset yesterday," Remus said. "She wouldn't say what was bothering her though."

"Well, if all went as well as I think it did," Sirius started, "then that shouldn't be a problem any more."

"So then why did you pull Sirius away James? That's nothing." Peter said.

Remus rolled his eyes. "What I said before, James? I take it back. You and Lily'll be second to last to know. Peter will be the _last_ to know."

Remus and Sirius started laughing. Peter looked confused, but that wasn't much of a change. James broke his silence. "Come on, we've been late to one class already today."

"Ah," Sirius said, "but Mynatt's a pushover. It wouldn't be a big deal."

James shot Sirius a look. The if-I-didn't-say-anything-someone-would've-asked-me-to-and-I-don't-want-to-look-like-an-idiot-by-not-having-anything-to-say-about-the-subject look. Sirius rolled his eyes in that way that was imperceptible to all but James.

Sirius and Remus continued to give each other knowing looks throughout Defense Against the Dark Arts.

It wasn't that James didn't know what they were talking about, but more that he didn't want to accept it. He wanted to deny that his fascination with this muggleborn, spitfire of a girl that he'd never known the like of had turned into a crush, and he definitely didn't want his best friends to make it even more real.

A/N: Okay, there you go! I hope you enjoyed. Write me a review? I do like feedback. It's a good thing.

E


End file.
